THE POLICE ADVISOR BLOG

A little pre-Halloween true story for you! Many years ago, when I was still a special constable, I was out on foot patrol, alone, on a housing estate. I was walking down a long, straight road of houses, all in darkness. Parked cars lined the right-hand side of the road; an open field ran along the left. It was a clear, crisp night with a proper chill in it — I could see my own breath — but I was warm in the uniform and wide awake, enjoying my own company in the quiet night. T

One in an occasional series (more information here) One night when I was a response officer, I was sent at about 1am to a report of a woman in an elderly lady’s house who was refusing to leave. Cynical as I am, I expected to find someone taking advantage of a vulnerable person. Instead, I found a smartly dressed woman in her forties. She greeted me with “Nice to meet you,” held out her hand, and introduced herself as Susan*. Susan told me she had lived with her parents in a l

It was one of those jobs that starts bad, gets worse, and then takes a turn you don’t see coming until you’re standing in the middle of it. I was on a late shift. A 19-year-old woman woke to find a masked man in her bedroom. Before she could properly process what was happening, he’d tied her hands, pulled a pillowcase over her head, and told her he’d slit her throat if she made a sound. He searched the house, then left. She managed to get next door, hands still bound behind h

One in an occasional series (more information here) Job into the control room: Male caller complaining that he went to a brothel, saw a prostitute and agreed to pay for sex with her. Paid his money and then another, much less attractive woman arrived to ‘deliver the service’. He stormed out but wants police to attend and get his money back!

Very Q (quiet) first night shift (Friday) of our set of 7 nights. Went to a domestic where our caller said his wife had 'stabbed' his new girlfriend (already, I have questions). We got there, it actually turned out that it was a very minor cut with a potato knife - but the 999 call had been very dramatic. He was there, pissed, covered in bumps, cuts and bruises - turns out his wife's new boyfriend had given him a right beating. It was like an episode of Jeremy Kyle, trying to

One in an occasional series (more information here) We had one slightly interesting job last night - a woman calls 999 to say their family dog was asleep on their daughter's bed, suddenly woke up, bit her and went mad - they were all hiding in a bedroom with the dog going crazy outside! We turned up with firearms, all ready to taser/shoot this mad dog, when it came down the stairs wagging its tail! Advised them to take it to the RSPCA as they obviously won't or can't handle t

As a front line police officer, I attended thousands of incidents over the years, and met many people in all sorts of situations. Sometimes there was drama - death, injury, violence, confrontation. But not always, sometimes situations weren't as they first seemed, or people surprised me. There were quite a few funny situations too. People are endlessly amusing! I started writing down some of these more memorable stories, although I'm not sure why. I did for a while have a blo